After updating on reading some of my friend's blogs, I feel like I want to write about a million things. I want love. But I don't. I want some one to make me feel special and happy and give me butterflies. Thinking about it, I feel fuzzy inside, I just don't know who the guy is that is making this happen to me. I don't know. I don't want commitment and getting my heart broken, yet I want that guy.
I an definitely joining the Invisible Children club. It's so sad, I just want to help all of those children being abducted and forced to be soldiers. :[
Okay. So Friday night my church had a big youth group meeting thing. Normally one day a week each town gets together at someone's house and does Y group, but I haven't gone to any of those. But me and Lizz decided to go to the youth group. As we're walking in, I read the text message she sent me while in the car. It says *he, the one who hates me, and she likes *him* is coming tonight. Great. Just great. I felt so reiugjkmsnrfgiukj because I wanted to have fun but this was going to ruin everything. He hates me, another firned of Lizz's, Graham, and erg. So when he walked in I felt confused. I didn't even know why he hated me. The things I said to him were only because I was mad that he was telling her things, then saying the opposite to his friends and really hurting her. Those things I said then made sense at that time, but don't apply anymore... It ended up not being too bad. He went with his friend, who she's really nice, but I don't really know her. Me, Lizz, the girl (I don't feel like putting people's names up when people don't care.), and *him* we all sitting down. Lizz some how kept leaving or talking to Graham. So I was stuck with guy who hates me and a girl I don't even know. I mean he did say hi to me. And apparently now he doesn't hate me, but still. There are things I don't trust about him, or think he is good for Lizz. The night ended up not being too bad, we only siad hi to each other... we have nothing else to talk about.., but he left early and missed the amazing sermon(idk if you call it that.) that this guy was talking about. His testimony is so amazing, and what he said was just really strong. People were crying. It reminds me so much like Keswick, which makes me miss it so much more.
Anyways, it's really hard for me to support Lizz in liking *him* when I honestly only know him by judgments. But it's his fault. He's the one who decided to hate me for being a good friend. And be distgusted by my name. So if he or Lizz were to get mad that I wouldn't really want them to go out, it's his fault, he prevented me from knowing him. I wouldn't mind being firneds with him, in fact if I knew more about him and he didn't hate me, or as they say he is pretending to hate me?, I probably would be happy that they both like eachother and see the good things about him. Ugh idunno. I'm just confused now because he said he didn't even hate me after all, which is so rediculous because he definitely did. And I guess whether he did hate me in the first place or not, I guess he doesn't hate me as much, or at all anymore. But how am I suppose to like get along with someone, who for like months just treated me like crap. I mean it's not that bad. It's not like he verbally abused me every day. It was just annoying how he would talk to people about how he hated me, like a TEACHER, that's so stupid... and he would do little things that were mean/stupid/kinda funny if it wasn't me. But my friend would just laugh and think it didn't bother me. It bothered me that he thought he could be mean to me, because she acted like it was okay. Well, I don't know. Maybe we can get along, I don't have anything against getting along and becoming aquaintances or friends, we'll see what happens.
Code names: Marie and Lauren.
So many things Lauren has been doing lately are reminding me of Marie. Most of the reasons I stopped being friends with Marie, I see in Lauren now. Does that mean I won't want to be friends with Lauren anymore? I was just so fed up with those things Marie did once I put all the little things together. So if Lauren seems to be becoming her, how can I still want to be friends. Ugh I want to. But some of the things just seem so outrageous and disrespectful and unimaginable, to me at least. I don't know. Sorry it just makes no sense eihkjdgfmnhbs :[[
In case any one cares... Lizz's mom is doing better I guess. Still in the hospital. They already changed when she was suppose to get out twice, though. I'm sure she'll be getting out fairly soon, I hope!
Ugh I never hang out with my friends anymore;[ I miss it. I feel like Lizz is the only one. Well because she is. But it doesn't have to be. I miss my frienddddssssss, whenever we hang out it's really fun. Except it's been like months. Kaycool. Actually, no. Not cool...:P
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment