Wow, I'm lame :)

Somehow in the midst of complete laziness of summer, I totally forgot about this blog. It's not like I had anything important going on at all. Basically my summer consists of waking up around like 10, computer ALL day, not even kidding, and then up til like 1 ish and repeat. Seriously. No substance. At all. I hate this. I mean I've been having fun when I'm with my friends but I'm so disappointed in myself for not actually doing anything. Before summer started I was excited that I would read a lot of books, go out to the pool everyday, hang out with friends all the time, not sleep late/ stay up late. Yeah, well none of that happened. I don't *like* wasting my entire day on the computer, but it's like I'm so obsessed with the computer that I can't help myself. I actually like not having my computer, but when I have it, I just waste my whole day. Ugh. But the things I actually have done is enjoyed my time with friends. Every week we go to Edmond Town Hall and go see the movie playing there. It's really fun, because we usually walk and get ice cream or eat, but we haven't been able to lately because of weather. Also, I helped out at VBS at church. The kids were adorable! But I have 5&6th graders... so they were "too old" for some of the stuff and yeah. It's awesome seeing so many kids loving God though:). I also finished drivers ed! :D The longest 3 weeks of my life! Agh I still don't feel like I'm old enough to drive. And of course, Keswick was amazing. So many awesome people went :) B-field: Allison, Alex, Lizz, Lauren, Abby, Erin. And then lots of people I know from church. Madison, also, who I've know for like 5 years from Keswick:) AND JAYDEN WENT :D It was such a blessing for her to be able to go and she just enjoyed it so much. Everything was awesome, but for some reason this year I was extra upset to leave. I actually shed tears. I've only gotten teary-eyes before. It was so hard leaving, and I don't know why. It was like the week wasn't complete and we weren't ready to leave. Major Keswick withdrawls followed and I was just bumming around and sad all week, especially once Jayden left because it was real. I don't know, it's hard to explain. All I know is that God is amazing and Keswick is awesome. Leaving Keswick sucks, but God is still amazing. I just need to take what I've learned and treasure my memories and not dwell on the no longer being there. Gah. I just wrote a whole bunch of craziness that no one really cares about. Maybe I'll go to bed early tonight.. but there's not a good chance :p Seriously, does anyone know where I can go to computer/facebook rehab :p

It summer. Normally I would be more excited. But it started off bad by being sick, and then of course it's been raining like every day for a month it seems. I just want the sun to come out for days straight, and just sit outside, either swimming, taking pictures, running around being silly, I don't know. I just want the sun. I really don't like the rain, I can handle a little, but come on, it's summer! I'm lazy enough as it is, and now I've just been on the computer every day for way too many hours. I've been having fun though. Steph's End Of Year Party was awesome :]... jeeze it seems like that was months ago. Of course my birthday party was a blast as well :] At least the sun came out for that. But the pool was a tad cold and some people didn't go in, but who cares :]

So. I GOT MY PERMIT. It hasn't hit me yet that I'm 16, a junior, it's summer, I CAN DRIVE. I've gone a couple times and stuff and I'm not too bad, but I'm scared to drive on the road :P I'll grow more comfortable but it's just scary to think. Everyone says "Sixteen is such a huge step and milestone" but I don't feel different at all. I mean when I think about it, I'm like, wow 16 this is crazy it's not real... but it is. I don't know. It's like every year you're a year older, but you don't feel any different. But this year you're suppose to feel different, it's big. And I don't. Hopefully it will hit sometime soon...

Blah! Now that I'm thinking about it more, I'm getting a little more excited for summer-ish things. Like the Edmund shingding every week will be so awesome, last week was varrr fun :D and then Keswick is going to be so exciting, and I'm really glad Lizz is going again, and Allison for her first time :D And then Lake George should be really fun gping back. I'm sure Cammy will be walking by then :] Sooo yeah. I'm going to go make Mac n' Cheese now. I kind of will eat this every day all summer. We have like 10 boxes right now, and I seriously am NOT over exaggerating. :) Hope your summer is fabulous, those of you still reading this.

“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, everyday, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would...

...be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.”

Blah! I don't even know. I've been so tired this week. Like dead. I know I'm *always* tired, but I feel like I've been extra tired. And extra fed up with people. I've noticed how too often people over exaggerate or make little things a huge deal. It's not necessary. If something "bad" happens, it happens... it's not like you can change it. If you keep having a negative attitude, you're just going to see everything as bad and just keep getting more depressed. This isn't directed towards anyone, by the way. It's just too many people have been moody and everything and it's not necessarily necessary. On a positive note, I'm really excited for summer.
1. My birthday is in 20ish days.
2. School ends.
3. I can get my permit!
4. I can start driving!
5. I can get a job. Except I have no clue where. Ideas?
6. Keswick!! :D <3
7. Lake George with Amy, Steve, twins, grandparents-ish, and my other aunt and two cousins. The only bad thing about it is that my aunt and two cousins will probably ruin it...
8. Going to be a Junior. A JUNIOR! :o

Ah it's just too crazy.
Meh. I don't know what to write. I have so much to say, yet I don't know how to say it. It's a Friday night. All my friends are well... not with me :P and I'm just tired and not in a good mood. This rain is crampin' my styylle mayyyne. :P Sorry my gh3tt0H n3ss slipped out, yo. Alright well I'm done being lame, for now. I have to catch up on everyone's blogs

Pa-pa-pa-poker face, pa-pa-poker face muh muh muh muh.

Of course you're only 16 once, but a 25 thousand dollar party is a lot to pay for one night :P It was basically just like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen. It definitely was fun, but basically it was like a dance, everyone on the dance floor in a big blob grinding. Me and my friends didn't really want to dance, I did a little, lol but I'm horrible. Then Madison and Kaelin made me dance with this guy and I don't even know him, and barely saw him lol ugh it was horrible, they gave me no choice. Well. Whatever >.> I was suppose to stay over with Madison and Gabby, but it would have just been us and I was soo tired after the party and I was already at Kaelin's. Then they also invited more people I didn't know, which just made me not want to stay more. I felt bad not staying, especially because I barely got to spend time with Madison or Gabby, AND I didn't say bye because I thought I was going back to stay with them in like 5 minutes, but what's done is done. It really worked out though because we went to sleep right away, got like 8 hours of sleep, and then got ready and such and I went to youth group with Kaelin, Shannon, Seth (Kaelin's boyfriend), and Jake (their friend, and they all are home schooled together). And we went mini golfing, a big fail on my part if I must say so myself haha. And then me, Kaelin, and Shannon, went out to an early dinner at Friendly's :] That's like Our Place now. Second time we've gone together! lol. AND since out waitress messed up the orders and like ignored us for 15 minutes when we were done, we got out appetizer for free, which was good because we would have only had just enough money for everything ha. All in all, it was quite fun, and really awesome to see everyone, because we're like best friends, but we would only see each other a couple times a year at Keswick. I want to start going up there more often, but it's kind of a bother because it's two hours up there one way, and neither of my parents can drive very far at the moment. Luckily this weekend my grandma offered to meet them half way! Huuuummm. Lalalala. Gah it was just so fun. I wish we lived closer to each other. It kind of made me sad because they're such best friends and basicaly live with each other and know everything about each other and everything so well, and I don't really have a BEST BET BEST friend that I'm ALWAYS with who knows me like the back of my hand. I mean I have amazing friends, and I can talk to a ton of people about anything, but I just never have the hanging-out-all-the-time kind of friend. Not that I NEED that, but idk they just seem to have so much fun :P

And You Can Say That You're Sorry, But I Don't Believe You Baby, Like I Did Before. You're Not Sorry Oh-h-h No.

Amy is coming tomorrow with Bobby and Cammy! :] That brightened up a weuosdgkhnwsdigkjm day. I was actually rested and awake this morning, but as the day progressed, more things made me more tired and moody. Well. I'll go to bed early again tonight and sleep away my mood swings. Haha, at least I haven't flipped out on my family today (so far) so I'm doing better then I have been lately. I really feel bad for taking out my tiredness and stress on them. I sound like a phsyco with anger issues, but I swear I'm not. I think any way you try to write something like on a blog, it seems so much worse than it was/you intended it to be. Well. Meh.

That's all I have to say for now, meh.

She said don't change your mind Let's leave this town behind We'll race right off the cliff They will remember this

Blahhhhh. This week has definitely had it's ups and downs. But this weekend was fun, Risha's party was fabulous :D And then today I really just went to church, and I was suppose to either see the twins or go to Six Flags with them, but that didn't happen. Ughhh. I'm so tired. All the time. And this stress doesn't make it any better. I feel bad because I'm always freaking out at my family or in a pissy mood. Next weekend should be amazing though, because it's my friend Madison's sweet sixteen. Like. At a mansion, sweet sixteen. And I'll get to see a lot of friends from camp or from up in Massechusetts that I never see! Ahhh. Except I waned to sleepover my friend Kaelin's house, but Madison just told me how all the out of state people are like staying at her house. And since it's her party, I guess I kinda have to do that, but idk... I mean it shoudl be fun... but if it's people I *don't* know, that's awkward, but then all the people I *do* know that are going, are either: old friends and just awkward being together, or one of those people you know but you've never become friends. And I think there are some girls from out school going too and I don't think they like me very much, oh well it will all work out. It should be really fun though. And I've been meaning to pay everyone up there a visit :] And I like just going away, getting out of the house, ya knowww? Well. I'm getting tired of being on the computer since I've been on all day. But I feel as though I have much to blog about to get my emotions out. Blah! Whatever, I'll express later:P

Ps- Tomorrow is a Monday AND going to be rainy. I'm looking forward to being in a bad mood... rain just does that to me... lol

Your love is the barrel of a gun so tell me am I on the right end I could be nothing but a memory to you Don’t let this memory fade away

Oh my gosh. I just freaking typed a blog about all my frustration with friend-ness like not caring and it not being fair and them like caring more about boyfriends or other friends than me. But I like refreshed the page or something by accident! Ah. Oh well, it kinda got my frustration out. But I just wish I was about to actually tell them how I feel. Of course like all the friend-confrontations that need to occur are people who will just think I'm jealous or like freak out :[ Oh well...

Yayyy it's Friday finally!! :D I was going to go to Battle of the Bands, but me and a friend decided to just hang out and sleepover-ness. Woot, it should be very fun :] And then some of us were going to do a camp out thing, but that didn't work out. Hopefully a rescheduling will happen soon! And then Sunday is Bobby and Cammy's Christening. Oh! And I'm uber excited for the nice weather it will be like mid 80s! YAYY :D I'll be outside for a while on Sunday, so maybe I'll get some sun :D :P Well. I'm still really really bummed I can't go to the Invisible Children Rescue :[ I hope everyone who's going has a good time and really makes an impact. I feel like as much as I care about the cause, I just feel like put down for not being able to go. Like going there is a symbol of how much you care. I just wanna be able to go :[ But my mom is all like worried and stuff. And I probably would have been able to go just for the day but I don't have a ride. And I said this all yesterday so I'll stop :P

Well have an exellent evening and weekend and soak up some sun :D