On the 2nd Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me... Two Turtle Doves

Today was the last day of school for 2008!!!! So exciting. Except I haven't quite realized it yet. I keep thinking I better get to bed, or do work, or make sure to do something because there's school tomorrow. NOT FOR TWELVE DAYS BABY! I love how this year we have like the longest Christmas Break probably possible. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, yet I don't feel Christmas-y quite yet. One thing that has already made my Christmas awesome has been Buddy. The cutest puppy ever. Once we actually owned him me and my sister were uber excited to actually have a dog. I came come from school today being able to look forward to a new friend :] We couldn't decide a name for him, yet we all subconsciously called him buddy. We thought since we couldn't decide on a name that fit him, the one we were all calling him probably fit :] He's the softest dog ever. A Lhasa Poo, Lhasa apso and poodle. Wow, I love him. I'm so glad we have him :] And we have the whole break the spend with him and um maybe get him house-trained. I'm so excited for Christmas to see family and just yeah! I mean of course I'm excited about gifts but to me there's so much more than that. Nothing will probably top Buddy anyway! But I will love anything I get. I enjoyed getting things from friends. I love seeing what people think I will like, and I liked everything I got, so thanks everyone :] I hope everyone have EXCELLENT holidays and I'll have plenty of time over break to blog :]
TWO days until Christmas! (Really?! It's finially here!)

On the 3rd Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me.... Three French Hens

So I went to the mall to buy some presents for friends, and I was in Claire's while my mom was with my sister at the pet store. She texted me to go there so I could see a puppy she loved. When I got there she was filling out paper work, apparently to buy it. I thought she was kidding. The house is a mess, my brothers allergic to dogs(it's hypoallergenic), the money, the house training, and all the other responsibility involved. Apparently my mom was really serious. She had my dad come to the mall to see him. Me and my sister thought it was redicuhlus (like the back uh ya head). We thought it just wasn't going to work out and just be waste of time, no matter how cute that puppy was. After a couple of hours of playing with him, and gathering all the things we needed. We headed home with the cutest puppy I ever saw.

On the 4th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me... Four Calling Birds

There's about a foot of snow on the ground. I woke up this morning with it snowing again. I couldn't go to church because of the weather. And my family that was suppose to come over decided not to. So basically I could have had the whole day to work on my lap report, but of course I didn't. I decided to go out and sled with my sister at our neighbors house. I actually stayed out for a couple hours. But once again I got mega annoyed and wet. So I came in. And for like an hour I started working on my lab report again. Except all I did was change the first sentence of my introduction paragraph. And that's all I have done. Ugh. I'm just thinking too much about doing it wrong because I totally forget how to do one. But I must be going now. Ta ta for now.
4 days until Christmasssss!

On the 5th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me... FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

I woke up today thinking I had to clean all day preparing for company on Sunday, and working on school work, but I got saved and got to go Christmas shopping with my friend :] I only got stuff for family because we didn't go to the mall and there wasn't much my friends would have liked. But hopefully I'm going to the mall on Monday to get friends presents :] Glad I got my family set aside. So tomorrow we're having my mom's side over for Christmas. I'm guessing it will be drama-filled but atleast we're all getting together which ended up being what was not planned before we decided for it to be here. Sorry it's confusing. My mom's side of the family is dysfunctional. But whatever. It will be fun tomorrow :]
5 days until Christmas!!

Bowery Mission Trip Story Continued :]

I defintely saw a different since of NYC. People sleeping on a peice of cardboard, with a blanket, their fingers looking black, either from dirty, or disease, theer facial hair being a complete mess, and being almost too weak to move or thank us for giving them a bottle of the Lipton Tea. Handing out food to I don't know how many people on the streets. When we were packing up the truck with empty boxes, a man came up to us. He was holding one of the Diet Lipton Green Tea bottles. He didn't seem... normal... and he asked loudly who was handing out those bottles. I thought he was going to say there was something wrong with it or something and get mad, but when we said we were the people, he thanked us for handed them out, he was so happy, saying it was so great to have it. When we offered him another one (they were probably a liter and a half?) He said, "No, no thank you, I've already got one! This is enough! Thank you SO much, guys!" That made me so happy that he personally came back to thank us. Seeing how grateful he was for that made me so thankful I could go on that trip. Also back at the Bowery Mission we worked in the kitchen for about 5 hours that day. Mostly cutting 140 cabbai(=plural of cabbage :P) AND WE WON THE GOLDEN CABBAI. Haha sorry. Fun in the kitchen. I SAW THEM CUT LITTLE CHICKEN BODIES IN HALF. CORRECTION, VICIOUSLY SLAM THE KNIFE DOWN I didn't eat the chicken that night. We served a couple meals to the men there too. They have one meal for the men who live there, and about and hour later have one for the community, homeless men on the streets who come in for the meals. So even the men who lived there, they were treated so much better than other shelters are like, I think. Which is great for them to have that opportunity. Seeing those men who came in for the community meal was just, heart breaking. They looked so sad, yet so happy to even jsut get a meal. The food didn't look too appetizing to me, and I'm sure it wasn't to them, but they still ate it. Bratty little me wouldn't have eaten it if my food looked like that at home. It's not like im selfish and conceided and ungrateful. I really and glad for what I have and it's not like going on that trip I NEEDED that realization and needed to change my life and realize more people are needy. But no matter how greedy or in need of help you are, that experience would have changed anyone's life. I hope I can go next year, it was just so amazing. I will never forget about that. Another cool thing is that have a little church too. And on Saturday nights (it might be every night, I don't know) If people of the community need a place to stay, they can, but part of the agreement is to go to church the next day. So on Sunday we went to their service. Now, most of the people were African-American or Hispanic, so the service was like in those movies where they show like a church ful of Afrian-Americans and they're all like "AMEN" "HALLELUJIA!" "JESUS!" "YES LORD!" It was cool to experience that :P Growing up in an extremely white town, I never got the chance to go to a church like that :P I can't believe ONE weekend could have such a life changing experience involved. We also got to go to Rockefeller Center, we rode the subway there, but walked back (SIXTY BLOCKS!) As we were walking back, it started to snow. That is a moment in my life I'll never forget, New York City during Christmas time and snow. It was like in a movie. Perfect. That was probably the most memorable, life changing weekend I will ever have.

Rebirthing Now I Wanna Live My Life, Wanna Give You Everything

I have something I keep wanting to talk, well type, about for a while, but I forgot to blog a lot, and the past few days I've only been blogging about my day. The first weekend of December, I went on a mission trip with about 7 people from my church to the Bowery Mission in New York City. The Bowery Mission is kind of like a homeless shelter for men with drug and alcohol abuse. It is also all based around God, which allows them to know God as well. The whole mission is just awesome, and being able to go there was amazing. You could tell the men were really thankful for our help and so many of them changed their lives drastically. The whole area was visible filled with poor, homeless, needy, and dangerous people (I'm not saying homeless people are anything are dangerous, there were homeless people as well as danger.) The morning after we got there, Saturday, we hopped in a truck filled with a lot of boxes of various vegetables, big bottles of Diet Lipton Green Tea, and other stuff. We set up in front of Tomkins Square Park, which they did the old fashin bread line a couple times a week. And all these people were standing in line waiting for us to hand out everything. I was mostly handing out the onions. Most of the people going through were Chinese. And most of the people who familiar faces to the Bowery staff. Some people were prodominintly looking homeless and needed food or ANYTHING so badly. They were the ones who were so gracious and thankful for the help they were recieving, which made me feel so good. As I'm looking back on it I can remember certain people, they were either the really thankful ones or the really greedy ones. Most of the Chinese women looked like they were in and okay spot in their life. I mean sure I can't judge who is more needy, but they looked better off than others, and all they cared about was getting the most fruit and vegetables, fought over which ones ot take, argued over recieving bad ones, and left without one thank-you. The produce we we're handing out was slightly bruised or just not top-notch. I probably wouldn't have eaten them, but they were still okay to eat. The homeless-looking people gladly took what was handed to them (we were instructed ot hand it to them and they couldn't reach in the boxes..) no matter how bruised or bad shape something was in, they were so happy to recieve it. The mostly-Chinese people were not thankful. And if they were, they definitly did not show it. Some women were inspeting every inch of the onions I was handing them and either arguing to get a healthier looking one, or to get a bigger one. That experience definatly showed me a lot. When you have nothing, anything, even someone's garbage, can be your treasure. But when you take things for granted and aren't truely thankful for what you have, it takes away from others. Sure, it wasn't wrong of the people who weren't homeless to take free food being handed out, but to fight for better food... they should just be thankful that they were getting the food, rather than demanding more and taking from someone who cannot eat 3 meals a day. Even just seeing the nieghborhood. When I pictured NYC, I pictured Christmas time becuase I have only been there around that time. But now, not only can I picture the beautiful giantic tree at Rockefeller Center, and Christmas decorations everywhere, but I can see the other side that maybe not everyone has seen.

On The 6th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me... 6 Geese 'A Laying

TODAY WAS A SNOW DAY XD YAY!

The snow day was TOTALLY needed. I woke up around 8:45, which normally I would hate that I didn't sleep later, but just the thought that I would have slept through Bio and Music Appreciation if it was a school day made me happy. I also woke up to no snow on the ground. It looked like there may have been a LIGHT LIGHT LIGHTTT snow over night or whatever, but it was barely noticable. I plopped a laptop on my lap and went to see who, or if anyone was online. Barely any people, but whatever. I was sitting so I could look through the french doors to the living room, or family room, whatever you call it, and look outside the window. Every time I looked up there wasno snow. I think it was about 11 when it started snowing. After what seemed like maybe 10 minutes, the grass from my view wasno longer visible. I looked out the window next to me and my viion seemed blurred, white, and snowy. I went outside for a little with my sister and was with our little nieghbors (5 of the siblings, ranging from the ages of 3 and 12, two lil'uns inside :P ) But they started getting annoying, the snow on my started melting and seaping though, and as I was thinking it was time to go, I rode on this snowboard type thingy down their front yard and fell. I tried to move and my knee hurt SO bad. I needed help getting up but after that, I was fine, so I walked home and got dry :] I think it snowed about 8ish inches as of 8:45-ish maybe? Hope you enjoyed reading this and everyone had a good snow day if they had one :]

On the 7th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me... Seven Swans 'A Swimmin'

(Forgot to save what I wrote yesterday.)

All day in school everything depended on the weather tomorrow, because a bunch of teachers are cramming in tests or projects and whatnot right before Christmas Break. It's suppose to snow tomorrow, but they don't really know when. I think we'll atleast have an early dismissal because the storm is suppose to come around when school gets out. I would really love a snow day because this week has seemed SOO prolonged, it just needs to end. I'm looking forward to this weekend, and then there are only 1 and a half days of school until CHRISTMAS BREAK! And it's like 12 days long this year because of the days of the holidays and such! Yay! I'm not doing anything special except for my aunt's special surprise gift.
7 days until Christmas!

On the 8th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me... 8 Maids 'a Milking

So I was hoping this morning we would have a delay. I spent like 25 minutes staring at the TV and all the schools having 90-minute delays, hoping that my town would pop up. In my head, my school even popped up for a second, but it was weird... I knew it wasn't actually on the TV lol. I wanted the extra sleep, but it wouldn't have even helped my tiredness, I don't know. Maybe I have Lyme's or something... probably not. My mom ordered me some shirts for Christmas from a really cool Christian shirt website. I might get them after Christmas, but I'm glad my mom finally ordered some because I've wanted them for a while :] I feel kinda bad though because I basically know what most of my gifts are so far, plus I know my parents only got my sister like pajama pants (which she got early) and two shirts. Where I got like 10 shirts all together probably so far haha. I kinda like knowing what I'm getting, even though I love being surprised, but with clothes I'd rather pick a bunch out and have my mom choose which ones to get. There is one thing I definitely don't want to find out what it is; my aunt is taking me, my brother, my sister, and two of my cousins somewhere as our gift.
Facts we know:
-We all will enjoy it (maybe not my brother since he'll be with all girls)
-It's not in New York City
-Which doesn't matter because it's in state
-It's on December 29th
-We'll be busy all day

That's probably all I will know, and WANT to know, because if I found out, it would make Christmas not as suspenseful :P But I know it will be amazing because I love spending time with my aunt, and with everyone else would be fun too! :]

8 days until Christmas!

On the 9th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me... 9 Ladies Dancing

Haha well I thought it'd be cool if the next couple days (until Christmas) when I blogged that the title was part of the "My true love gave to me" song, but... yeah whatever. Trying to get into as much Christmas spirit as I can. The past couple days I've been really grumpy and blah and tired. I don't think its just because of lack of sleep, its the incoming of winter. Welcome sickness, darkness, and tiredness. I only like winter when its pretty and snowy. Not cold and rainy. Although its not winter YET, it's close enough. Anywho. Today I wanted to fall asleep in like all of my classes. I probably could have. In bio I was barley awake yet, Music Appreciation we watched a movie (darkness+HOT room= sleepiness) and just the rest of the day was hard to stay awake and pay attention. So, after our fake Chrrstmas tree has been up for like 2 weeks, with only the lights on so far, I went up ot the attic (which was FREEZING might I add :P ) and got a couple boxes of orniments and started decorating the tree with my sister. I put on the Christmas song channel in the 900's to get morei nto the spirit. My sister suddenly gets an idea to go into the other room to get a CD, I figured one of our many Christmas CDs, but she ends up turning on Aaron Carter. Yes, the 10 year old PiMp who thows house parties with high school girls. Haha "Aaron's Party (Come get it)" Good times, I love Allison.... anyway, I got really sick of hearing a little boy's voice with annoying songs that aren't Christmas-y (they god stuck in my head for like 20 minutes) But my sister decided to remenice about kissing the cover of the Aaron Carter CD everynight before bed instead of turning on delightful holiday music :P I've been trying ot force holiday spirit too much. It just doesn't seem like the holiday season this year, we only have 9 days to go, people! Even though some of my aunts and whatnot have created drama and are ruining Christmas and our plans (like every year... not kidding at all... they WANT our holidays to be sad, depressing, stressful, and seperated from everyone) I still know this will turn out okay, and I'd rather have to celebrate Christmas with just my mom's side of the family 3 different times, than everyone fighting and hating eachother. Well, I still am not sure if my Christmas presents will work out. I also never know who's giving me a present, so I don't wanna plan on only giving a few people present while other people give me gifts, and I don't have anything for them. OR you give something to someone and they say they forgot it at home and will give it to you later, just awkward knowing they don't care about you as much as you care abotu them :P Whatever, it will all work out. Christmas is for celebrating the birth of Jesus, while it seems to be completely forgotten or the last tihng on people's minds during the holidays. Why can't everyone in the world just gather together and share love and hugs and we don't need to stress about parties and gifts and outfits and friends and family and santa and decorations and just everything. Shouldn't it be simple? I guess others don't want that.

Just read my "Is it possible to be too relligious"....

One of my friends confronted me about how I feel about them not believing in God, and I reread the post to see if I got the wrong impression if someone read it. I'd like to apologize if I like made people think other things than what I tried to get across. I definitely said some things wrong that definitely made me seem controlling but I meant the opposite, whatever, what I'm try to say is that soon I am going to go back to it and fix it so I actually say what I was trying to say, and not not seem like the biggest beeyotch on da block. Haha. Ok. Sorry. G'day my loves. Thanks for reading about my lameness.

I must say it was inevitable

Today was yet another wonderful Monday. Note: That's sarcasm. Yesterday I had a head ache so I wanted to plan to go to bed early. I ended up watching most of the Survivor finale, and then didn't fall asleep until after 12. So, that was a great start to my Monday, with less than 6 hours of sleep. But no matter how much sleep I got today it probably wouldn't have been so different. In the mornings at school a group of my friends gather by a a spot near stairs and just hang around, which is good because I barely see any of them throughout the day. Today I was actually like hyper and like I don't know I can't explain it:P But then the bell rang, and I arrived to Biology. Everyone is always so bored and asleep that I feel bad for the teacher. She's actually really nice, and I kind of wish I had biology later in the day. I'm always horrible in science because the teachers are too boring to understand and don't care, or they're bad teachers, but I really think she is fun and would help me better like science. Next is music appreciation, one of my favorite times of the day. We finished watching Dream Girls, we're always watching a movie. Lizz and Alex are my wonderful freshie friends and I love them :] Whenever they're not in class (on Medina field trips..) I'm sad because I miss them :P Geometry is semi-fun. I have Alex and Jess :] They're the fun parts. The non fun parts are the group of freshies who sit behind us who are majorly obnoxious and annoying. Come on, "Is that __(insert name here__ from smashing pumpkins!?" is getting SLIGHTLY old. Plus the teacher is so boring. And she doesn't know how to control the class. She yelled at everyone today. Everyone laughed. She's such a great authority figure. Then after, I either have health, gym, or study. Today I had health but I really like having study. Spanish is next, which I swear lasts 5 hours. I don't know if it's Nancy(teacher's first name :P) , the fact that it's the period before lunch, or that spanish just really make time slow down. Any way, lunch is after which is fun. Less as awesome as last year, but (lost the game) there's always good times. Sometimes there are some boringish points if everyone's doing homework, or when I'm trying to procrastinate homework and I'm uber hyper. History is next which most of the time is ok because 4 of us girls barely have to do anything and get 100's on class work and participation. Lately I've been zoning out and not doing my homework, so that's not helping my I-want-to-try-harder-this-term-and-get-amazing-grades goal. Last period. English. Today was too tiring. Couldn't pay attention. Too busy being tired, losing the game, and counting down the minutes until the end of class with Risha and Kyle. Annoying stupid family drama, as well as friend drama-ish is going on at the moment which may also be stupid-ness to why I'm like in a bad mood lately, but mostly because I'm tired too. I don't know. Can't blame me for Christmas being ruined yet again my stupid aunts. Grr. This blog is already too long. Maybe I'll explain later. 10 Days until Christmas!

Is it possible to be too religious?

Suddenly I just got like reallly siukfjmhnsdghjnm idk frustrated on how some people don't like how like "religious" I am. I love Jesus. I am religious, but I'm not a saint. I wouldn't classify me as "over religious", if that's even possible. Because I like to talk about Jesus or try to glorify God as must as I can, that makes me judgmental and cocky? I understand how christianity isn't for everyone, but I mean that doesn't mean I can't say what I believe, or put my beliefs in my actions. I believe what I believe, and I like to share that, and if someone's going around saying they're christian and not acting liek it at all, shouldn't they be aware that others don't think that's right? I mean that sounds controlling, and I don't mean it like that. I just mean if I had a friend who went to Jesus camp with me and was on a spiritual high and felt so great about it, and then started doing tons of things that even maybe a non-christian wouldn't do, and sinful, I don't understand how I can be controlling by trying ot help them. I have so many friends who say they're christian, but aren't as "into" it as I am, which is fine, that's what they want. But it's just hard only having a couple friends who are at the same page as you basically, and everyone else not understanding you. Grrr. I know I don't make sense this just really bothers me. I have had to work on TELLING people what to belive, rather thne helping them find out, or just telling thme what I believe, but even when I'm just trying not to swear or something, something seeming so little, people critisize me by thinking I'm better than them and judging them. The poeple who do read this, that I know of, are probably just going to think I'm rediculous and stupid and that I am judgemental and cocky, but whatever. I'm not, I honestly just try to help people believe what I believe. It's not like I'm not open to other religions or sometihng, I mean.... I kind of am, but that's because I'm glad at my state in religion and I really don't think I would ever change my beliefs. Sorry I'm all over the place. Just religion is a confusing spot when it comes to involving other poeple for me, I'm not sure if that's the right wording? I'm just stressed and stupid things are going on and as I think about stuff like this it reminds me of more, and just keeps me going. And if I read this later, I'll think I'm stupid for writing this because I could feel alot different about it then. But today, this is how I feel. And writing this out is getting my frustration out. I don't think it's possible to be "too religious", everyone just has different levels of what they believe, how they apply it, and like what they feel about their religion. Like if someone is brought up in a religion they feel they're forced into just because their parents believe it, obviously they won't feel so good about it as someone who is glad with their religion and actually strongly believes it. Sorry if I like offend someone or anything, I'm not meaning to. I'm just dtfgvhbjnmrhjgmhnsjm. Good night.

It's been a while.

Wow, I think it's been a month since my last post, sorry. SO much has been going on! I don't even know what happened last time I wrote here. Haha. I'm so pumped for Christmas though! I haven't quite felt totally in the Christmas mood yet because our fake Christmas tree only have the lights on so far, after like a week of it being up, we haven't put out outdoor decoration lights up yet, and my family doesn't seem as excited as I am. I just love the spirit of Christmas time. As Mariah Carrey says it "I don't care about the presents undernearth the Christmas tree"... but not because all I want for Christmas is you :P The presents really are not my main priority. I love being around family (no matter how much redikuhlusss drama goes on) and making others happy. Everyone just has a positive, cheery additutde. Well, not everyone, but there's just something about the holidays that atleast make most people seem happy and just yeah. Plus, I mean it's not like I hate the presents... lol... I like seeing what people think I would enjoy, or just people caring enough to spend time looking for something for ME. Except I always suck at knowing what to get people. I like to be creative, and I have a pretty sweet idea for some of my friends, but I don't know if it will work out. I hope! Well, I hope everyone who isn't in the Christmas spirit gets into it really quick! 11 days!

*Now I have All I Want For Chirstmas stuck in my head >.<*

And There's So Much More Than What You're Looking For

I'm so excited for this weekend! Tonight is the Homecoming Game, late, but still awesome. I love going to the football games. It's not like I actually pay attention to the game, I just have amazing fun with friends! :] THEN...... I'M GOING TO ROCK THE SOUND WITH LIZZ! WOOOOOOOT. Rock the Sound is a Christian concert with, chrisitan bands, including; David Crowder Band, Leeland, Skillet, Newsboys, and Nevertheless. Before I knew about the concert, I didn't really know any of the bands, but I learned that I actually knew some of their songs, and they're all basically my favorite bands now, besides Nevertheless, because I 've never heard them. AND this is my first concert! What better experience than that. GAHHH I'm so unbelievable excited. I know a couple other people going from either school or camp, maybe I'll see them... :] Following the concert, I will be sleeping a la casa de Lizz, then going to church with her in the morning :] GOOD WEEKEND PLANS<3 The only down side is that I'm missing a family party at my grandparent's new house, but I'll get to see everyone sometime soon, so no big deal. Ok, well. I hope my weekend turns out as fabulous as I'm expectinggg!!!!<3

You are my oreeeeooo.

Today I woke up around 9ish, wanted to sleep later, but whatever. Just chilled for a little, on the computer and watching TV. Then, Lizz (well her mom) picked me up and we went to church :] I haven't been to a church service in the morning in a longg time, because my mom can't bring me a lot. So when I'm able to go, I actually enjoy it, rather than how other people feel they are forced to go every week. Any way, we were like half an hour early, so we stopped at Dunkin Donuts and got hot chololate :] A wonderful additive to my day, haha :]. Then we were still early so we just awkwardly stood around feeling left out. A couple people approched us and talked to us and introduced themselves, which I guess helps when you don't really know anyone there. It was good. It was fun. I love Jesus :] Then, on the way home we stopped at Taco Bell for tacos :] Lizz's mom wanted Lizz to put on a song, and she was like, "Put on the Oreo song, Lamb of God, Oreo..." And we had no clue what she was talking about... Turns out it is the song that says "all in all" insted of "oreo". So now that song is stuck in my head and I just keep saying "You are my oreo". Totally defeats the song. because Jesus is more than my oreo. Haha. Ok, sorry I'm lame,sorry you read my lame story :P <3

Blah.

So I actually had plans this weekend, to go out to lunch with my friends, then hang out at a friend's house, then sleepover. So I woke up today, at nine oclock, which is early for me on a Saturday, and then hung around and took a shower. As I was getting dressed and stuff my whole left arm started feeling numb and then it stopped and went to me lip? It was really weird. And I remembered that every time something weird happens to me, or I just feel weird, normally it is a migraine. I used to get horrible migraines all the time, so I knew I wanted to take my migraine medicine right away. I had a slight headache and figured it would go away once I took the medicine. It kinda was getting worse and I figured I should go lay down in my room because it should help. "Luckily" for me, my neighbor was leaf-blowing, and I could hear the annoying noise from my room. So basically I was laying in my room plugging my ear, hoping I could fall asleep soon. It took a while, but then four hours later I woke up, headache free, feeling a little better. I was still light headed and kind of nauseous, but much better than a horrible headache. Well, I hope you enjoyed my story because it's really lame. I had migraines ALL the time and every time I have a little headache I get scared I'm going to go back to suffering from them all the time. Plus, whenever I have one, every little sound bothers me, and my house is not a quite place. Someone is always doing something that makes noise and I wish I had a sound proof room for when I get a migraine, even though I don't get many any more. Well, at least I could sleep it off, because I could have been unlucky enough to wake up and not feel any better at all. And this is my waste of a Saturday feeling like crap :P. Hopefully tomorrow will be good! :]

It's compromise that moves us along

I forgot to explain my title for my last blog. And this one :] It's form the song, She Will Be Loved, by Maroon 5. Kinda "old". Any song that isn't like a month new is considered old, it seems like. Anywhooo. In english today we were in the computer lab working on an assignment, and I was just having a fun time, and laughed so hard I cried. But that's not suprising coming from me. And then someone was playing music, and one of the songs was this song. So a lot of people were singing along. It was hilarious and fun :] It was a great end to my 8th period calss on a Friday. So now this song has been stuck in my head, but I like some of the lyrics. I like songs that have good "quotes" from their lyrics, lol. Ummm, so basically I felt like sharing the reason for the title. Because I usually just use a random quote or something from a random song, but this has an actual reason :P !

Update: So I have this little foster cousin, I haven't been able to meet him yet, but hopefully Thanksgiving if he is feeling up to it. He has cancer. Only seven years old. In his legs crushing his bones, and in his lungs. So sad. But he just got surgery done to remove the tumors in his knees, and I think they said it went well. And I'm pretty sure they are going to try ot remove the tumors in his lungs as well, which makes this a happy story, no long sad. He will be strong and over come cancer, I know he can :] And I want to be able to meet him because he sounds so cute and loving. I've met his old sister, who I've known for years and I'm close to, and just this summer I met one of their older brothers and he's awesome, and joined the family about a year ago? And then even more recently, my aunt and uncle have taken the little seven year old under thier care. Although they have no money, they have infinate love. For thier three foster children, and even for their own daughter. I thank them for being so caring to be able to hlep them, feel loved and welcomed, and for me to be able to know them.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies

So, I think it's been around a week since I last "blogged". So little, yet so much has happened. I guess since Halloween, a lot of things have happened, but it was only a week ago. It's funny how things work. Like for example, when they say when someone dies, another person is born, I never understood that. But like just within this week, one of my cousin's friend's dad died, while one of my friend's mom had a baby. I think that's really cool. I don't know, it just was cool, because I don't think that's ever happened before to me, or I just havent noticed. So this week has been tiering, not exhasting, as usual. And I've had plenty of laughs, rather cries, from laughing so hard. And I've had my share of scares, awkwardness, and arguments. Also, Barak Obama was elected the new president. I'm not really happy about that, I wanted McCain. I just felt McCain was better, and it has nothing ot do with race. I hate when people tihnk you don't like someone because of their race. Obama has made a lot of rude comments about referring to the bible, and I'm a strong Christian, so that upsets me. and just a lot of things have made people think he might be the Antichrist. Which really freaks me out and scares me and worries me. But I trust that God will use Obama to guide the US out of debt and trouble and everything. So um yeah, I guess that's all. Not all, but as much as I feel like writing for now.

And I Can See A Light That Is Coming For The Heart That Holds On

I realized my posts have been like, really long, and not really about me. More about topics. I kind of like doing that, because I can express my feelings and speak freely. And just like, write about anything. I like to write, I guess. Just for like school things is kind of difficult because we have to write abotu a certain topic, not get off topic, write in special forms, include certain things, use proper and exellent grammar, and make the reader interested. I don't care if my reader is interested. I write for myself. I like to be creative. It's when you can actually be yourself, after being inside of a dark, dusty, annoying school for hours each day. You don't have to be forced to do certain work, learn about topics you don't care about, or do everything the way someone wants you to do. If you were able to express yourself and thoughts and feelings and do work freely at school, things would be completely different. And everyone would be different. Not even just like doing school work, but everyone is fake. In one way or another. EVERYONE has been fake at some point. And at school is where all the robots are created, gather, and sometimes get destoyed. I wish everyone was real. And would realize that if people wouldn't like them for who they really are, then they're not worth spending time trying to perfect themselves for like they're whole lives. I'm just glad I don't have to do that, because if my frineds aren't going to like me for who I am, I'm not going to be friends with them. I love my friends :]

(Speaking of not getting off topic at school and stuff... I went from talking about like, my previous blogs, to my friends. :P )

Change Can Be For The Good, Or Bad

Ok, so I went to the retreat, and there's a lot of changes. Just like people in charge, and they just recently got rid of like. The coolest guy ever. All he ever did was like devote his life and serve for others and the camp, but they decided to get rid of him. Which by the way is making a lot of people not want to go anymore, which in some ways I don't think that is a valid reason to not go. But I understand because I don't even know how to feel about it myself, because we don't know if the cahnges will make or break the camp, unless they make the changes. Ok, no one cares about this. So the retreat was fun, I spent time with friends, talked to this hilarious and insightful, intelligent counselor named David. And instead of like having counselors like be the worship team, they hired an actual band. Not a big one, but they're good, and love Jesus:] I bought they're CD for 5 bucks. Good deal :P :] Any ways, some peopel didn't like them because the camp has like classic songs and they didn't know them. But they still ended up playing awesome worship songs and basically my favorite part of Jesus camp is worship, so yay! Ummm most people who read this will find this a waste ot read. But I don't care :]

Good News or Bad News First?

Ok well I have some good news, and bad news, but both will probably not affect you :P
Bad news is that water fell on my lap top and it won't turn on! :[[ Hopefully it will get fixed soon, because I'm using a REALLY old computer that is like color blind and just really out of date.
Good news is that I'm going to a retreat this weekend Actually leaving in a little bit. Long ride up but it's definately worth it! I'm so excited. Yay for Jesus camp! :] So um I have to go now, but just thought I'd update those of you reading :] Have a good weekend!

"A Relationship is a Two Way Street"

While I should be working on a lot of school work and such, I'm multitasking while I'm working on english stuff, watching the Biggest Loser: Families :] I think it's a great show, and I won't get into that. But one of the trainers said "a relationship is a two way street". This got me thinking about something that was sort of already in my head. Yes, a relationship is definitely a two way street and needs to consist of things from two (or more) people. But in some friendships, sometimes one person needs more support, more advice, and more help from the other friend. I've had friends who needed me more then they needed me, or I turned to my friend more then they turned to me for help. In some cases, if someone asked me for advice or help or anything, I would feel like a failure as a friend if I wasn't able to help them. But I've recently realized that a friendship doesn't always need equal help from each person. Sometimes its good just to have someone to talk to, or if it is something you can't really tell people about, it's just good to know that someone is there for you. So next time I feel like a bad friend by not having words of wisdom or encouragement to help my friend, I know that I can still be supportive by just being there for them to talk about it, or even just to know I'm there no matter what. So the saying, "a relationship is a two way street" is true yet false at the same time. But I guess everything can be taken into a perspective as true and false at the same time...

Back Again

There's been a lot on my mind lately. Mostly love. Not me in particular. Mostly other people though. Someone who I've gotten really close to recently went through a break up. She took it pretty hard, and still is. It's so sad seeing her the way she is because he totally doesn't understand like how upset she is. And if he DOES he's just a humongous jerk for not doing anything about it. And my other friends just like, always say they want a guy, or just want to be in love. I just believe that like when you're suppose to fall in love, or be in a certain relationship, it will happen. That's why I don't go crazy over having a boyfriend. Because I don't find it necessary. I'm not going to force people to like me or go out with me, and I'm not going to waste my whole high school career crushing on the guy that I will NEVER end up with. Tons of people were going out in like 5th grade and 6th grade and it was just meaningless. And I think by going out with someone you don't like just because you want one is completely meaningless too. I just wouldn't want to go out with someone for no reason. Just. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but it's just how I feel. And like if you're someone reading this going through this problem just know that if you're suppose to be in a relationship you will be lead to one. And if you're going through a rough time because of a break up it will soon pass and you will find someone a million times better than the jerk who broke your heart :]

First Blogging Experience

Well. I've never had a blog or anything before, but some of my friends are starting to, and I thought it would be cool to have one. I'm paranoid about online stuff and stalkers and creepers, so if you're trying to stalk me or something, you won't get much information about me :P
Basically I'll be be sharing my thoughts or like things going on in life. And since most people I'll be frustrated or something with won't be reading this, I'll be sharing my feelings about them here:P
Well, I'm home from school today because I over slept, and I think I'm coming down with something like strep throat. I hope I don't have it though because this weekend is a retreat at this summer camp I go to. I've been looking foward to it, except there will probably be like 20 people there. They've been changing a lot of things around there, and many staff and campers don't agree with the people in charge. The camp is just so amazing, and everyone thinks they're ruining it. They definitely are changing it, but no one knows if it's a bad decision until after, so we'll see. I don't want to just stop going like most people are. But if the changes are too much, I just may have to do that.
I guess this is enough for today, or right now. I might post some more later, because well, I have no life :]